Tag Archives: difficult conversations

New Book about WELCOMING CONFLICT!

I’m pleased to share the cover design and editorial summary for my upcoming publication. Please feel free to let me know what you think!

The Tell Me More Gesture: How & Why to Welcome Conflict
Editorial Summary 

Author Janet Rowles begins her work with a surprising yet profound perspective on interpersonal conflict: “Conflict is an essential and unavoidable part of experiencing life to its fullest.” With this sentiment, she has created an indispensable guide to navigating conflict in a new way, one that does not urge readers to suppress or minimize their emotions—or the emotions of others in conflict with them— even when those emotions are perceived to be negative or messy.

Rowles taps into her own experiences of both conflict mediator (professionally) and instigator (personally) to take an empathetic approach toward helping others self-manage—and even welcome— their own conflicts. She encourages the reader to lean into conflict by saying three simple words: “Tell me more.” Throughout every chapter, Rowles’ belief that embracing conflict rather than stifling it is essential for fulfilling the fundamental desires for deeper and more meaningful relationships.

Throughout the book, Rowles utilizes a rich assortment of tools, tips, quotes, examples, and outside resources to aid the reader. Many of the pages contain pertinent quotations in the sidebar, drawing on the wisdom of great thinkers to speak to the conflict we all experience in life. Exercise boxes invite the reader into personal reflection throughout the chapters in addition to the journal entry spaces that appear at the end of each chapter. This helpful dual-reflection format gets readers to engage in analysis while reading as well as after they’ve finished the chapter, giving them more time for absorption of the content. Together, these complementary parts create an invaluable resource for readers of all backgrounds.

The author also injects her own personality into the work, using case studies from her professional and personal life. This gives the book a deeper level of authenticity and relatability. The integration of Rowles’ personal voice alongside research and insights from the field makes for the perfect marriage of logos and pathos. By the end of the book, I truly felt as if I had reached a new understanding of conflict engagement in a healthy way, while also feeling as if I’d had the author as my personal guide and companion through this journey. Readers are sure to feel the same.

LETTING GO

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Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase “each other” doesn’t make any sense.

–Rumi

Sometimes after people spend a good amount of time truly listening to each other, they find that they calm down and they are able to look around at the world around them.  They discover that who was right and who was wrong are much less important than how they were treated and how they felt.  Letting go of right and wrong becomes easier when we practice listening to each other.  Deep listening is a skill that can be developed over time.  We learn to speak as children, but as adults it is the listening that changes and improves the quality of our conversations.

 

BARN’S BURNT DOWN

<img src="moon.png" alt ="sliver moon in blue dusk sky">BARN’S BURNT DOWN.  NOW I CAN SEE THE MOON.
-Mizuta Masahide

Difficulty comes with other unforseen changes, usually some of them are silver linings, and often they surprise us.

Conflict works this way. Conflict isn’t something we look forward to, but there are many benefits that we otherwise wouldn’t know.

One of the best things about conflict is that we learn new things about someone (including ourselves) and, if we’re going to work through the conflict, it forces us to deepen our relationships. There are many, many potential benefits to conflict. That’s why we should WELCOME CONFLICT.

WELCOME, CONFLICT!

QUESTIONS ABOUT CONFLICT? IDEAS HERE!


DSC_6630Are you in a prickly situation?  Is this situation affecting your life? Your health? Your attention?

Write a description of your situation and a question about it in the “LEAVE A REPLY” area and receive a prompt response from Janet about ideas on how to best deal with your conflict. TRY IT!  WHY NOT?!

[Feel free to use an alias or “anonymous” – your email will allow you to receive a notification of response from me, but will not show anywhere.]