—Marshall Goldsmith, world-renowned business educator and coach, and author of the New York Times bestsellers, Triggers, MOJO, and What Got You Here Won’t Get You There
“Listening doesn’t just resolve conflict, ‘It creates us,’ said writer Brenda Ueland, ‘makes us unfold and expand.’ In her brave and wise guide, The Tell Me More Gesture author Janet Rowles carries the torch lit by Ueland and shines a light on putting the power of listening to practical use. Conflict? Bring it on!”
—Eric Utne, founder, Utne Reader
“Janet Rowles has devised an ingenious method of using mediation skills for one’s own personal use to help not merely resolve conflict, but actually transform it. This is a practical manual for improving personal and professional interactions alike. Janet’s book takes a step-by-step approach to finding deeper understanding and resolution with people in our everyday lives. If you want to enrich your relationships, then read and practice The Tell Me More Gesture!”
—M.J. Bauer, Executive Director, Conflict Resolution Center and Board Member of Community Mediation Minnesota.
“We are all smart enough to problem solve situations, but problem solving doesn’t resolve conflict. The Tell Me More Gesture is a very valuable work for everyone from professionals to couples to families to neighbors to on and on. I can’t wait to share it and practice it more.”
—Bill Baker, crisis counselor and educator of marginalized and special needs students, Buena Vista, CO
“Janet Rowles’ The Tell Me More Gesture encourages us to welcome conflict, and to “listen in such a way that the speaker feels free.” Rowles explains the value of helping the people we’re in conflict with to thoroughly share their perspective. And she gives us techniques to practice that help us help our adversary get to a better place. This seemingly paradoxical idea, that when in conict we should help the other side, arises from Rowles’ understanding of transformative conflict theory. Rowles’ insight will also be helpful to professionals in the world of conflict resolution, who too often try to re-direct or contain conflict, when supporting it would lead to much better results. Rowles provides a deep understanding of how conflict works, beyond problem-solving, beyond win/win, to the relational dynamics that determine whether disagreements will turn into war or into meaningful, connecting conversations. While she asks us to take responsibility for how we respond to even the harshest attacks, she acknowledges that it’s not so easy and that we need to do our own work to keep ourselves in a strong and compassionate place. Anyone interested in human conflict will find this book inspiring, refreshing, and challenging.”
Mediator / Educator / Author
JANET'S BLOG: WELCOME CONFLICT!
HERO TO ZERO: A Different Sort of Conflict The betrayal we feel when one of our heroes disappoints us is actually a sort of conflict. Our newsfeeds are chock full of headlines that either wholly praise or completely condemn the most famous, most revered entertainers,...read more
I’m pleased to share the cover design and editorial summary for my upcoming publication. Please feel free to let me know what you think! The Tell Me More Gesture: How & Why to Welcome Conflict Editorial Summary Author Janet Rowles begins her work with a...read more
As we get older we anticipate more calm and less conflict. It is disappointing when we realize that we are still human and that somehow life has not magically become more Zen. In our fifties, sixties and beyond, we still have difficulties with siblings. We lose jobs,...read more
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