“Reading The Tell Me More Gesture is like having Janet Rowles as your personal guide to improving your relationships. Janet’s user-friendly model, as well as her warmth and transparency, both teach and inspire us to welcome conflict. If you have conflict in your life, and who doesn’t, reading The Tell Me More Gesture is essential.”

—Marshall Goldsmith, world-renowned business educator and coach, and author of the New York Times bestsellers, Triggers, MOJO, and What Got You Here Won’t Get You There

“Listening doesn’t just resolve conflict, ‘It creates us,’ said writer Brenda Ueland, ‘makes us unfold and expand.’ In her brave and wise guide, The Tell Me More Gesture author Janet Rowles carries the torch lit by Ueland and shines a light on putting the power of listening to practical use. Conflict? Bring it on!”

—Eric Utne, founder, Utne Reader

“Janet Rowles has devised an ingenious method of using mediation skills for one’s own personal use to help not merely resolve conflict, but actually transform it. This is a practical manual for improving personal and professional interactions alike. Janet’s book takes a step-by-step approach to finding deeper understanding and resolution with people in our everyday lives. If you want to enrich your relationships, then read and practice The Tell Me More Gesture!”

—M.J. Bauer, Executive Director, Conflict Resolution Center and Board Member of Community Mediation Minnesota

“Janet Rowles’ The Tell Me More Gesture encourages us to welcome conflict, and to ‘listen in such a way that the speaker feels free.’ Rowles explains the value of and gives us techniques for helping the people we’re in conflict with to thoroughly share their perspective. This seemingly paradoxical idea, that when in conflict we can assist the one who is upset with us, arises from Rowles’ understanding of transformative conflict theory.  Rowles’ insight will also be useful to professionals in the world of conflict resolution, who too often try to re-direct or contain conflict, when supporting it leads to much better results. In the book, Rowles provides a deep understanding of how conflict works, beyond problem solving, beyond win/win, to the relational dynamics that determine whether disagreements will turn into war or into meaningful, connecting conversations. While she asks us to take responsibility for how we respond to even the harshest attacks, she acknowledges that it’s not so easy and that we need to do our own work to keep ourselves in a strong and compassionate place. Anyone interested in human conflict will find this book inspiring, refreshing, and challenging.”

—Dan Simon practices and teaches transformative mediation in Los Angeles and Saint Paul.  He is a board member and fellow of the Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation and a Certified Transformative Mediator. He writes the blogs at transformativemediation.org and transformativemediation.com.

We are all smart enough to problem solve situations, but problem solving doesn’t resolve conflict. The Tell Me More Gesture is a very valuable work for everyone from professionals to couples to families to neighbors to on and on. I can’t wait to share it and practice it more.”

—Bill Baker, crisis counselor and educator of marginalized and special needs students, Buena Vista, CO