Got questions about conflict? ASK A MEDIATOR

Do you have questions about conflict in your life? At home? At work? In your neighborhood? At church? Yes, everyone has conflict. It is a natural part of being human.  You can ask Janet get ideas about how to deal with your difficulty or conflict.  Do you have questions about a difficult situation you are in?  Are you sad or angry about the horrible interactions you are having with a particular person?


2 thoughts on “Got questions about conflict? ASK A MEDIATOR

  1. Anonymous

    My partner in marriage and I are having issues dealing with finance and step kids.
    If the step kids are not accepting my partner how do I contribute to their well being? If I do so my partner disapproves, is hurt and turns our marriage/relationship colder by not allowing any intimacy in conversation or in bed. I am feeling like the victim of course but I do feel emotionally abused/controlled.

  2. janetwrowles Post author

    Hello, Anonymous. It sounds like you are in a really difficult situation, although I’m not sure based on the above information whose kids are whose and such. But in general, I would say that it might help if you could devote yourself to listening to your partner. This might seem counterintuitive if you are feeling abused/controlled as you say, but if you can listen and then even ask for more information when things get really tough (instead of getting defensive or lashing out in return, etc.) you might be surprised with what you find out. I would say listen, listen some more, say, “Tell me more,” even when things get really tough – listen until s/he is all the way done. Don’t put any limits on how long or what or how things are said. Just say, “Tell me more” and mean it! Of course, mediation might be helpful to you both (all) but if you’re wanting to give it a go on your own, this would be a fabulous first step. It will show some real good faith to your partner and it will give you some time to be calmer, not to respond, not to enflame things, and to be open to new information about the depth of your partner’s feelings. Let me know what you think or if you give this a try. Kind regards to you both… Janet

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